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Daryl Zero: I always say that the essence of my work relies fundamentally on two basic principles: objectivity and observation, or "the two obs" as I call them. My work relies on my ability to remain absolutely, purely objective, detached. I have mastered the fine art of detachment. And while it comes at some cost, this supreme objectivity is what makes me, I dare say, the greatest observer the world has ever known.
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Steve Arlo: There aren't evil guys and innocent guys. It's just... It's just... It's just a bunch of guys.
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Daryl Zero: Passion is the enemy of precision.
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[On the phone with Zero]
Steve Arlo: Are you telling me you can speak six languages and fly a jetliner but you don't know how to file a tax return?... It's never come up?... Does this have to happen right now?... No, that's a "W-2." "WW2" was the Second World War.
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Steve Arlo: He can tell you where you were born, how old your mother was at the time, and what you had for breakfast, all within 30 seconds of meeting you.
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Steve Arlo: Why are we talking on the phone?
Daryl Zero: I told you. We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport... talking? It's a little fishy.
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Daryl Zero: You're watching whales? Fuck the whales.
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Steve Arlo: [talking about his employer, Daryl Zero] I'm telling you he never even leaves the house, okay. I mean he's like some sort of recluse. A complete freak. No social life. In fact, no social skills. It's a strange fucking thing. When he's working, the smoothest operator you've ever seen. Brave, slick, cunning, he can do anything. Soon as he gets off work, it's all gone. Afraid to go to the dry cleaners. Literally. Too uncomfortable in his own skin to go out and eat. Tactless and inept. Rude too. Just an asshole.
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Daryl Zero: Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them.
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Gloria Sullivan: When your number's up, it's up. There's no sense to it. There's no justice. Innocent people suffer and murderers get away with it. So when my number's up, whether I'm walking down the street or doing something else, that will be that.YUou know, you, me, anyone could walk out of here and get killed by some drunk in a pick-up truck. I could slip in the shower and break my neck.
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Daryl Zero: After investigating her, I found myself in better shape than ever before in my life. To me, she will always be a singular unforgettable event, the only time I ever took leave of my objectivity. Perhaps the most able blackmailer of her time, she was at once the worthiest opponent and the greatest ally, and the only woman I have ever... the only woman, period. And though I never would've anticipated it, in the end she did for me what I have done for so many: help solve a problem, first by observation, then by careful intervention - in other words, the Zero Effect.
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Daryl Zero: I can't possibly overstate the importance of good research. Everyone goes through life dropping crumbs. If you can recognize the crumbs, you can trace a path all the way back from your death certificate to the dinner and a movie that resulted in you in the first place. But research is an art, not a science, because anyone who knows what they're doing can find the crumbs, the wheres, whats, and whos. The art is in the whys: the ability to read between the crumbs, not to mix metaphors. For every event, there is a cause and effect. For every crime, a motive. And for every motive, a passion. The art of research is the ability to look at the details, and see the passion.
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Steve Arlo: I don't think he's ever kissed a girl. He's like 30-something years old.
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Daryl Zero: A few words here about following people. People know they're being followed when they turn around and see someone following them. They can't tell they're being followed if you get there first.
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Daryl Zero: I did find one other thing of interest, though.
Steve Arlo: Holy shit, those are the keys. You found the gold Swiss Army knife.
Daryl Zero: I know.
Steve Arlo: And this is the safe deposit box key. Where'd you find them?
Daryl Zero: They were in the sofa, under the cushion.
Steve Arlo: What?
Daryl Zero: They were stuck in the couch in his office.
Steve Arlo: Was he hiding them there? Is that possible?
Daryl Zero: Not possible. That's where they fell out of his pocket, over a year ago.
Steve Arlo: So... what do you make of this?
Daryl Zero: I think that just as I feared, Ms. Sullivan doesn't know a thing about these keys.
Steve Arlo: Wait--the keys are a coincidence?
Daryl Zero: Yes.
Steve Arlo: That's--confusing.
Daryl Zero: Yep.
Steve Arlo: Doesn't seem like a good thing.
Daryl Zero: Sure it is. It's good because the man has been looking for his keys for a *year*. And I've found them.
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Gloria Sullivan: What doesn't kill you defines you.
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Steve Arlo: I'll shoot you. Really, I will. I have a gun and everything.
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Daryl Zero: A person can't escape their nature.
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Steve Arlo: $5 million, so you can kill someone right away instead of a day later.
Gregory Stark: No, no. For $5 million, you do it.
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Gregory Stark: Is this your kid?
Steve Arlo: Nope. Just a rental.
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Steve Arlo: Maybe you should stop snorting that shit.
Daryl Zero: Keeps my teeth sharp.
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Daryl Zero: [instructions to Gloria Sullivan] Keep moving every few months. Stay out of Westernized countries for a while. Don't carry too much cash on your body. Give incorrect information everywhere, and never use your real name.
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Daryl Zero: When you spend enough time around the chemistry of desperation, you come to recognize the smell. One desperate element is combustible. More than one desperate element is lethal.
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Daryl Zero: I've been awake for three days. Three... Just love those amphetamines. Got to love them. Got to.
Steve Arlo: Sounds healthy.
Daryl Zero: It's good for my skin. You know if you do enough of that stuff over a very short period of time, you get, like, these canker sores on your tongue.
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Daryl Zero: My father was an evil, abusive man. And he killed my mother when she was sleeping. And then he slit his wrists, when I was thirteen. I don't talk about that much. I used to when it happened and then one day I woke up and, I don't know. Everything was different.
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Daryl Zero: Gregory Stark is the son of a fat man.
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Amazon.com
Zero Effect follows private investigator Daryl Zero and Steve Arlo, his reluctant representative, through one particularly tangled case involving blackmail, murder, revenge, and a set of lost keys. Zero is the world's best private investigator, suave and totally in control while on a case, but socially inept when off the job. The diversely talented and prolific Bill Pullman is excellently cast as Zero, switching seamlessly from one persona to the next, and the ever-charming Ben Stiller is his perfect sidekick. In a deadpan description of his method, or the "Zero Effect," Zero details his brilliance for Sherlock Holmes-like deductions, based on his strict adherence to objectivity and observation, or, in Zero parlance, "the obs." Somewhat predictably the obs falter when the case of the missing keys brings Zero to Gloria Sullivan, a winsome and mysterious paramedic played by Kim Dickens. Thankfully, writer-director Jake Kasdan is no less brilliant than the Zero he creates, and the potential corniness of the developing romance is balanced by a razor-sharp wit and the nail-biting suspense of the unfolding plot. --Laska Jimsen
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