[last lines]
John, Paul, George, Ringo: All together, now!
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George: He looks wrong.
Paul: He doesn't look at all well.
George: In fact, he's horrible.
John: He's so ugly.
All: REALLY UGLY!
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Ringo: George, what are you doing up there?
George: [driving in Ringo's car] Now, what is it Ringo? Is it a matter you want to take up... or down?
Ringo: [indicating Fred] This lad, here.
Old Fred: [crazy gibberish]
Old Fred, Ringo, John: Blue Meanies!
George: Aww, you're nuts, the pair of ya.
[drives off]
Ringo: Hey, that's my car, lad.
George: How do you know it's yours?
Ringo: I know it anywhere. Red with yellow wheels.
[the car changes colors]
Ringo: I mean... blue with orange wheels.
[the car changes colors again]
George: It's all in the mind.
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[Ringo picks up a hole and puts it in his pocket]
Ringo: I've got a hole in my pocket.
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[seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]
Paul: What's the matter, John Love? Blue Meanies.
John Lennon: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!
George: How's that?
John Lennon: Singing!
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Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."
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Old Fred: Well, lads, what do you think?
George: I think that...
Old Fred: Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?
Paul: Well, um...
Old Fred: Pounding overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?
John: Well, I think that...
Ringo: As a matter of fact, I think that...
George, Paul, John, Ringo: I think...
Old Fred: Well?
George, Paul, John, Ringo: I've forgotten.
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Chief Meanie: Tomorrow the world!
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Old Fred: [the motor has conked out] By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out!
George: Maybe we should call a road service?
Paul: Can't, no road!
Ringo: And we're not sub... scribers?
John/Paul/George: 'Sub'scribers...
[groan]
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Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: If I spoke prose you'd all find out / I don't know what I talk about.
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John: Hullo, there, blue people! Won't you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle? Whaddaya say?
Chief Meanie: Max...
Max: Yes, your Blueness... er, your NEWness?
Chief Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
Max: Argentina?
John: Are you with us? Will you join?
Chief Meanie: Shall we?
Max: [nodding] No!
Chief Meanie: [threatening] AARGH!
Max: [hastily] N-n-y-y-y-y-YES! Your Newness!
Chief Meanie: Yeeeees, Max!
Jeremy: Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use!
Chief Meanie: Yes, let us mix, Max. I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the blue-bird of happiness!
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John: Break the glass.
George: We can't!
Paul: It's Beatle-proof.
John: Nothing is Beatle-proof!
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Old Fred: Help! Help! Help!
Ringo: No thanks, don't need any.
Old Fred: Won't you please, please help me!
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Narrator: Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.
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Old Fred: All right then. Let's get this vessel shipshape.
Ringo: I kind of like it the way it is. Submarine shape.
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Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time! So much to know!
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Chief Meanie: Today, Pepperland goes... BLUEly!
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Paul: Senile delinquents.
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George: As a matter of fact, there's a war on.
John: Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?
Paul: Oh, let's not waste any more time sitting on the hence! Beatles to battle! Charge!
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Ringo: Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.
Old Fred: Oh, bless you.
Ringo: Did I sneeze?
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[after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine]
Paul: Poor Ringo.
George: Poor lad.
Paul: Never did no harm to no one.
John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
Old Fred: Learn to sing trios.
Paul: Naw, let's save the poor devil.
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Paul: Say, Ringo, you're not half the lad you used to be.
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[opening a door to find King Kong abducting a woman]
George: Do you think we're interrupting something?
John: I think so.
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George: Hey, it's seen us! Find the boxing button!
Paul: Whoever heard of a "boxing button"?
John: Who cares! Find one!
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Chief Meanie: A thing of beauty; destroy it forever!
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[Jeremy is cornered by the Chief Meanie]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed!
[reading]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: "Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose!
[a rose sprouts on the Chief Meanie's nose]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: A rosy nose?
Chief Meanie: SPEAK YOUR LAST PIECE!
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and BLOOM! BLOOM! BLOOM!
[roses sprout all over the Chief Meanie]
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John: Hey, Jeremy, what do you know about holes?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: There are simply no holes in my education.
Paul: You mean you haven't composed a "hole" book?
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Max: Here, your Blueness... have some nasty medicine!
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John: It appears to be a group of fellas.
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Ringo: It's time... for time!
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Paul: Let's show him our motor.
John: Steady on! I mean, you don't want to be showing your motor to just anybody.
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Chief Meanie: What, what, what! The glove is losing his touch!
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Paul: Look, it's a school of whales.
Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
Paul: University then.
Ringo: University of whales.
John: They look like drop-outs to me.
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John: If I could come in, here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein...
Paul: [singing] Any old Ein, any old Ein, any-any-any old Ein...
John: Could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space...
George: Uh, John...
John: ...According to the now-famous theory of relativity...
George: John...
John: Which, briefly explained...
George: John!
John: Is simply a matter of taking two eggs...
George: JOHN!
John: Beating lightly, and adding a little salt and pepper to taste...
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George: Hey! There's a Cyclops!
Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes.
John: Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.
Ringo: There's another one.
John: A whole "'cyclopedia"!
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Chief Meanie: Ah, here you are my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence, and destroy yon upstarts. SMASH THEM, SMASH THEM, CRAASH THEM! O-BLUE-terate them!
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Chief Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
Max: Yes, Your Blueness.
Chief Meanie: WHAT? We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is that understood, Max?
Max: No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie: That's better.
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Old Fred: "H" for "Hurry," "E" for "'Ergent,'" "L" for "Love me," and "P" for "P-P-P-Please help!"
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Old Fred: [after they have all been turned into much younger versions of themselves] Now I don't mean to alarm you, mates, but the years are going backwards.
George: What does that mean, Old Fred?
Old Fred: It means that if we don't do something soon, we're all going to disappear up our own existance!
Ringo: [Sniffing] I want me mom
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[in the Sea of Holes]
John: This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.
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[being swallowed by the vacuum monster]
John: The monster's packing in!
Old Fred: By all the sea nymphets! We're losing power!
George: We're being swallowed!
Paul: What should we do?
John: Serve tea?
Paul: Lovely.
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John: Move over, I'm driving.
George: No, I got here first.
Ringo: I'll drive if you like...
George: No, you sit in the middle.
John: No, I'm sitting in the middle.
Ringo: You said you were driving.
John: I am driving.
George: I'll get in the back, then.
[they drive off camera]
George: [CRASH!]
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Old Fred: Oh! Frankenstein!
Ringo: Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
Old Fred: His sister?
Ringo: Yeah, Phyllis.
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Old Fred: You've got to steer clear.
Ringo: Steer clear?
Old Fred: Yes, steer. Clear?
Ringo: Yes, dear.
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[George tries to fix the sub's motor, receiving a huge electric shock instead]
Old Fred: What do you think?
George: I think I burnt me finger.
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[Jeremy is writing with his foot]
Jeremy: These are the footnotes for my nineteenth book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it!
John: ...Were your notices good?
Jeremy: It's my policy never to read my reviews.
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Lord Mayor: Four scores and 32 bars ago, our four fathers
Old Fred: A quartet?
Lord Mayor: And four mothers
Old Fred: Another quartet?
Lord Mayor: Made their way in this yellow submarine...
Old Fred: What, that little thing?
Lord Mayor: ...to Pepperland.
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John: It's blue glass.
George: Must be from Kentucky, then.
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Paul: Do you ever get the feeling...
Ringo: Yeah.
Paul: That things aren't as rosy as they appear to be under the surface?
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Ringo: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer: No, no, I would not.
Ringo: Oh, yeah, didn't think you would. I could've sworn I saw a yellow submarine. But that's not logic now. Is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". Or a figment of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.
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Ringo: [as Jeremy disables the Chief Blue Meenie with flowers] First time I saw that Nowhere Man, that Nobody, "I" knew he was Somebody.
John: You're right.
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[seeing the Chief Meanie for the first time]
John: He reminds me of my old English teacher.
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Ringo: Look, it's Father Christmas!
Paul: That's not Father Christmas, that's Father Time.
Ringo: How'd you know that?
Paul: Well, I read it in a book.
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Chief Blue Meanie: Hee, hee hee hee hee! Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii.
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Chief Blue Meanie: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... the hills are alive!
Max: [singing] With the sound of music.
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George: Maybe time's gone on strike.
Ringo: What for?
George: Shorter hours.
Ringo: I don't blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?
George, John, Paul: Why?
Ringo: Well, it's a twenty-four hour day, isn't it?
John: You surprise me, Ringo.
Ringo: Why?
John: Dealing in abstracts.
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George: Okay, instruments at the ready...
John: Okay, on the beat of one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six...
Ringo: Hey, can't you make it three?
John: Oh, all right, on the beat of three: A-one, a-two, a-three...
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Chief Blue Meanie: [as Blue Minions are routed] You're advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards!
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John: Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time-space continuum theory.
George: All right.
John: Relatively speaking, that is.
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Chief Meanie: My dear friend... let us not forget that heaven is blue.
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Ringo: Hey, uh, Mr. Boob - you can come with us, if you like.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: You mean... you'd take a nowhere man?
Ringo: Yeah. Come on, we'll take you somewhere.
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Paul: Shhh!
George: What did you say?
Paul: Shhh!
George: Good plan.
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Ringo: Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.
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George: Yes, dey do look very nice, don't dey?
Ringo: Yes, dey do.
John: Dey do dough, don't dey?
George: Yes, dey do.
Ringo: Don't dey, dough?
George: Dough?
[Paul enters]
John: Fa-la. Dat dough!
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Chief Meanie: GO, glove! Point, and having pointed, POUNCE!
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Chief Meanie: Ah, the hills are alive...
Max: [sings] ... with the sound of music!
Chief Meanie: [Punches Max] Who did it? Who is responsible for this?
Max: Rimsky-Korsakov?
[Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground]
Max: [Poking his head up from ground] Guy Lombardo?
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Lord Mayor: It's quite uncanny, your faces...
Paul: We're quite cute, really.
Lord Mayor: You could pass for the originals!
John: Well, we are the originals.
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[the Beatles are shown as their live action selves]
George: That was one great party. And we brought back some lovely souvenirs.
[takes out a kite string with a wind-up mistaken for a motor]
George: Here's the motor.
Paul: And I've got a little
[the word "love" comes out of his hand]
Paul: love.
Ringo: [takes out a fake hole from his pocket] And I've got a hole in my pocket.
George: A hole?
Ringo: Well, half a hole anyway. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
George: What can he do with half a hole?
Paul: Fix it to keep his mind from wandering!
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Old Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here?
Ringo: Just playin'.
Old Fred: Just playin' what?
Ringo: Just playin' around.
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Old Fred: By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out!
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Old Fred: Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Ringo: Which button?
Old Fred: That button.
Ringo: This button?
[presses the button and is ejected]
Ringo: Aaaahhhhh!
Old Fred: That was the panic button.
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Paul: And do you speak English?
Jeremy: Old English, Middle, a dialect pure.
George: Well, do you speak English?
Jeremy: You know I'm not sure.
Ringo: He's so smart he doesn't even remember what he knows!
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Blue Meanie: Are you, er... blueish? You don't LOOK blueish.
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John: Hey Ringo, I just had the strangest dream.
Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach.
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George: It's all in the mind.
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Old Fred: Not polite to point!
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Paul: [singing] Tiptoe... through the meanies...
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John: [from the UK version] I am the ego man. Goo goo goo joob!
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