Craig Willmore: Rauch is downstairs.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: You're kidding? He didn't flame you?
Craig Willmore: Excuse me?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Ah nothing. What's his condtion?
Craig Willmore: Well he's unconcious and covered in low grade motor oil.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: That Rauch always did have a kinky street.
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Mary Astadourian: [Looking at a horribly burned body at the Corroners] God I hate coming here.
Joan Truitt: You know, so do I.
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Craig Willmore: So what happened?
Arley: Well Agent Willmore, barring some unexpected revelation it looks like someone shot this man in the back of the head.
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Mary Astadourian: [Willmore goes to kiss her, alternative respond] No, no no no! Hah, I mean, you're nice guy but let's keep this professional, ok?
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Special Agent Fox Mulder: I need your help Scully. The security door needs two keys turned at the same time. I need you to turn the other key for me.
[the Black Oil suddenly swims over his eyes]
Craig Willmore: [to Scully] RUN!
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Craig Willmore: Is there any reason why this would be treated as contraband?
John Amis: [In Sean Connery voice] Nope. It's neither illegal nor sexy.
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Craig Willmore: Did you get those prints lifted?
John Amis: Ah jes' fished 'em, Miss Daisy, ah still needa process'm.
Craig Willmore: And they say sugar has no effect on children...
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Craig Willmore: [putting a big steel ball on the table] Have a look at this!
Mary Astadourian: What is that?
Craig Willmore: I don't know.
Mary Astadourian: Well be careful with it!
Craig Willmore: Relax.
Mary Astadourian: It looks like an explosive device.
Craig Willmore: Could be it's heavy enough.
Mary Astadourian: Maybe we should call in a hazmat team?
Craig Willmore: [smiles] Lets not jump the gun.
Mary Astadourian: [Willmore starts to open the ball] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
Craig Willmore: You really need to cut down to one cup a day. It's empty.
Mary Astadourian: What is it?
Craig Willmore: I don't know. But I know one very happy lab technician.
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Craig Willmore: Hey don't you owe me a dollar?
John Amis: Did you know I grew up in Cleveland?
Craig Willmore: Oh? Cleveland? Really?
John Amis: You know how cold it is in Cleveland?
Craig Willmore: Cold. It is very cold in Cleveland today.
John Amis: But not cold enough!
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Mary Astadourian: [after escaping bomb] It's times like this I wish I still smoked!
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Mary Astadourian: What can I do for you?
Craig Willmore: Agent Willmore, FBI.
Mary Astadourian: FBI? What's your interest in this case?
Craig Willmore: I'm investigating two missing Agents. My investigation lead me to this warehouse, where there was evidence of foul play, including the blood of one of our missing Agents. I spotted Wong and asked him a few questions. He lied to me, now he's dead. No evidence on if there's a connection but I'm sure there is one.
Mary Astadourian: Wow. I'll buy that. This case just went from routine to fun. Thanks.
Craig Willmore: Anytime.
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Assistant Director Walter Skinner: That car has been following us since we left the office.
Craig Willmore: Do you think they know about Mulder and Scully?
Assistant Director Walter Skinner: That's a good question Agent Willmore, why don't you go answer them.
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Mark Cook: [Willmore hands him a travel slip] Looks like you're going to Everett. Spent a week there one day.
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Mary Astadourian: [Willmore points his gun when she comes around the corner] Whoa! Take it easy! It's me!
Craig Willmore: I can see that! What are you doing here?
Mary Astadourian: You kidding? After that message I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Craig Willmore: Well you better be careful or he might run your ass raged!
Mary Astadourian: I wouldn't mind that he was kinda cute.
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Craig Willmore: [Interupting the studying Clerk] Do you keep a record of all outgoing calls?
Motel Clerk: Sure for billing reasons
Craig Willmore: Can I get a copy of them please?
Motel Clerk: Great, just one second. I want you to know you're putting me behind.
Craig Willmore: Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you at work.
Motel Clerk: Funny.
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Motel Clerk: I hope there aren't any dead bodies in here. I got finals next week!
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Mark Cook: Why Agent Willmore!
Craig Willmore: Why Agent Cook!
Mark Cook: You picked a great day to be late. There some big gun from DC in. Don't know why but it sounds serious.
Craig Willmore: Probably just making sure we're not stealing paper clips.
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Craig Willmore: [after Cook bursts into Willmores appartment] What are you doing?
Mark Cook: No man what the hell are you doing? I ask you to keep me informed but am I informed? No! I've been kept completely in the dark. The more you tell me the better I can do my job!
Craig Willmore: Hey shut up!
Mark Cook: Jesus.
Craig Willmore: I've been out there putting my ass on the line! I'm sorry you had a bad day dear! But either treat me civily or get the hell out of my house!
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Richard 'Ringo' Langly: You want Janet Reno's number?
Craig Willmore: No I'll pass.
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: You sure? She keeps a webcam in the bedroom.
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Craig Willmore: How did you know we were FBI?
Pretty Woman: Well who else would come looking for a Jane Doe?
Mary Astadourian: That's a good point.
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Mary Astadourian: If you don't tell me what's going on I'm going straight to your Director!
Craig Willmore: You do that and you'll be modelling in cheap stores by next week!
Mary Astadourian: See you on the runway baby!
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Craig Willmore: Shanks wants me to hand my current cases off to you.
Mark Cook: Great. Thanks Golden Boy.
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Motel Clerk: [after Willmore rings the bell with her standing there] Please don't do that. Do you have any idea how many people ring that when I'm standing right here?
Craig Willmore: No
Motel Clerk: Well you're not the first!
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Craig Willmore: [Alternate Responce] That's a lovely color on you.
Mary Astadourian: [Sarcastic] Thank you! I picked it myself.
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Craig Willmore: [He walks in on John reading a comic book] Your tax dollars at work.
John Amis: Hey do the words "lunch hour" mean anything to you.
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Mary Astadourian: [Standing over Wong's dead body in the morgue] This is Agent Willmore, he questioned Wong yesterday.
Joan Truitt: Hope you found out what you needed to know.
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Mary Astadourian: [Willmore goes to kiss her, alternative respond] Wow, back up, backaroo! You need help, you know that? I mean, you're quite attractive but my mom told me not to go out with goverment men!
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Craig Willmore: That's a lovely color on you.
Mary Astadourian: Thank you. Let's just stick to business ok?
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Craig Willmore: Did you notice anything strange about him?
Mary Astadourian: No I was too busy being thrown accros the room.
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Special Agent Fox Mulder: I've always wanted to see Canada but there's not much to see when you're locked in the trunk.
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Craig Willmore: [Alternate Responce, after a confontational meeting] That's a lovely color on you.
Mary Astadourian: Why thank you Sgt. Kissass!
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Special Agent Fox Mulder: Geez, man, do I know you?
Craig Willmore: Cable Guy.
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Craig Willmore: So you're the mystery man. I was expecting someone a little more Sean Connery.
X aka Mr. X: I think that will be quite enough Agent Willmore.
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Mary Astadourian: [Willmore goes to kiss her] Ahh we probably shouldn't do that. I mean I would love you to don't get me wrong. But we should probably wait till this case is wrapped before we go "tampering with the evidence."
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