Xander Cage: I wish I had a camera.
Yelena: Why?
Xander Cage: 'Cause this is gonna be one hell of a trick.
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Milan Sova: First you set me up in the bar. Then you shoot me in the back.
Xander Cage: My boss does it to me. I did it to you. It's a vicious circle.
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[Yorgi is getting away on a motorboat. Xander shoots at him, but misses]
Yorgi: Learn how to shoot, you piece of shit!
[Xander shoots at Yorgi, this time hitting and killing him]
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Xander Cage: These monkeys are following me because I just stole this car... obviously it's not mine, it ain't my style.
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Xander Cage: Y'know, if you're gonna ask someone to save the world, you'd better make sure they like it the way it is.
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Yorgi: Now that buisness is over... we party...
Kolya: Bitches, come!
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Toby Lee Shavers: Knocked over a few 7-Elevens, have we?
Xander Cage: Nah, I had my leg in a cast for about three months. All I did was play first-person shooter video games.
Toby Lee Shavers: That's a really sad story.
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[to Yelena]
Xander Cage: I might throw in a few extra dollars and send you to charm school.
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Gibbons: You've passed the test. The Gibbons Test.
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Toby Lee Shavers: [showing Xander the darts to the revolver] Datura knockout darts. POW! Guy goes down for 12 hours, wakes up, doesn't know who the hell he is, and his head's splitting like a cord of firewood.
[starts laughing]
Xander Cage: I was shot twice with those.
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Xander Cage: I've been risking my life for a lot of stupid reasons. This is the first one that makes sense to me.
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Xander Cage: I live for this shit.
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Xander Cage: You're in the Xander Zone.
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Xander Cage: [after El Jefe slaps Xander across the face] You slap me again, I'm gonna throw you the beating.
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Xander Cage: Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!
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Xander Cage: Welcome to the Xander Zone...
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Toby Lee Shavers: [showing Xander the binoculars] Eagle Eyes. Nine enhanced-vision modes. Every little boy's dream: the penetrator mode. Check it out.
[points at a woman]
Xander Cage: [looks through the binoculars, sees under the woman's clothes] Oh, my God.
Toby Lee Shavers: She's checking you out.
Xander Cage: I gotta hang onto these.
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Toby Lee Shavers: I've always wanted to say this. Fire in the hole!
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Xander Cage: Koyla, Yorgi's younger brother, happens to be an action sports fanatic. So naturally, he's a fan. But, when you kill a bottle of Vodka in three swigs, and you're gonna talk too much.
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Xander Cage: [after Yelena shoots Milan Sova and walks in with the Ivans] You wanna tell me what you're doing with the Ivan's?
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Xander Cage: [waking up on an airplane talking to two guys next to him] Been to any good diners lately?
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Xander Cage: Yo... what's your name, slick?
Ivan Podrov: My name is Ivan.
Xander Cage: Ivan? What's your name, buddy?
Ivan Pedgrag: [looks back at Xander] MY name is Ivan.
Xander Cage: [looking confused] You're both Ivan?
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Toby Lee Shavers: So, how long have you been a secret agent?
Xander Cage: Two days.
Toby Lee Shavers: Man that sucks!
Xander Cage: Yeah but it beats jail.
Toby Lee Shavers: No I mean I spent 3 and half years in some windowless NSA room. I mean I got a degree. I got a degree from MIT. And I bet they picked you up pumping iron in San Quentin?
Xander Cage: Have you ever been punched in the face for talking too much?
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Gibbons: The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons.
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Gibbons: I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.
Xander Cage: What kind of people?
Gibbons: Dirty. Dangerous. Your kind of people.
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[to Augustus Gibbons]
Xander Cage: Take off these handcuffs so I can beat the shit out you.
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Yelena: Do you know what a wire transfer is?
Xander Cage: Is she for real. Sweetheart is there anything else you need to do, let us big boys have a conversation.
Yelena: Conversation. A word with four syllables. Do you want some ice before your brain overheats.
Xander Cage: Ice. Yeah, you could chisel some off your heart, if you could find it.
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Xander Cage: My kind of people would say, "Kiss my ass, Scarface."
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Xander Cage: Shaken... and stirred.
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[Xander Cage drives a stolen Corvette, which belongs to senator Dick Hotchkiss, and is chased by the police]
Policeman: You in the red Corvette! Pull over immediately.
Xander Cage: Yeah, yeah. These monkeys are following me because I just took this car. Obviously the car doesn't belong to me, it's not my style, it belongs to Dick. Dick Hotchkiss, the California state senator. You remember Dick? He's the guy who tried to ban rap music because he feels that the lyrics promote violence. It's music, Dick! He's also the guy who wants to pull every video game off every shop in the country, because he feels that the video games diminishing intelligence of our youth. Come on, Dick... It's only education we got. Dick, you're a bad man. You know what we do to bad men? We punish 'em. Dick, you've just entered... The Xander zone.
[on the walky-talky]
Xander Cage: Okay, I'm coming in hot with a pat of bacon.
Video Shooter #1: Go. Go, go, go, go!
[Xander jumps with the Corvette off the bridge]
Video Shooter #2: Pull it! Pull it!
[Xander jumps out of the Corvette with a parachute]
Video Shooter #2: Yes!
[the Corvette falls on the surface and explodes while the three guys in a Cadillac arrive to pick up Xander and the equipment]
Caddy Driver: Go pick the cam. Go, go, go.
Xander Cage: Moral is... Don't be a dick, Dick.
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Xander Cage: The moral of the story is, don't be a dick, Dick.
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[referring to Senator Dick]
Xander Cage: He also wants video games banned because he believes that they're destroying education... come on Dick, it's the only education we got.
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Xander Cage: Is this guy gonna hump my leg or what?
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[before entering Yorgi's club]
Milan Sova: Everyone in this club's got two things in common; they're filthy rich and they're criminals.
Xander Cage: I'll fit in perfect, except for the filthy rich part.
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Toby Lee Shavers: Knocked over a few Seven Elevens, have we?
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[after snowboarding down an avalanche]
Xander Cage: Nothing like fresh powder.
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Gibbons: So are you going to get on the plane or is 'Kiss my ass, Scarface?' your final answer?
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Xander Cage: WHOO! Not bad!
[pause]
Xander Cage: Lets do that again!
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Xander Cage: I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.
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Gibbons: I noticed that you have three X's on the back of your neck. That's appropriate, since you're looking at three strikes.
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Xander Cage: [after getting shot with a dart] It was only a corvette!
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Yelena: I'm an agent too. I've been undercover for two years.
Xander Cage: Two years? What was your plan? Have them die of old age?
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[after kissing Xander Cage]
Yelena: Did you enjoy that?
Xander Cage: Yes.
Yelena: Good, because it will never happen again.
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Xander Cage: [referring to marines in full camo] Here comes the ROTC!
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Xander Cage: You're okay, Yorgi
Yorgi: Everything's okay... with enough vodka.
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Xander Cage: I told him that cigarette would kill him one of these days.
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Toby Lee Shavers: [explaining the darts to Xander] The red ones are tranquilizer and blood-splatter darts. All the appearence of a kill shot, but without the aftereffects. Like death.
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Thug: Find him fast. Kill him slow.
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Xander Cage: The things I'm gonna do for my country.
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Yelena: Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?
Xander Cage: Never again?
Yelena: I lied.
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Gibbons: Why is it always the assholes who pass the test?
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[after a police SWAT team crashes in on his party]
Xander Cage: Okay, I'll turn down the music.
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J.J.: I need you to go to Pago Pago or whatever. Get a couple of girls, do 'em all I don't care
Xander Cage: It's Bora Bora J.
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[after Xander shoots Milan Sova]
Yorgi: Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment. Welcome to Anarchy Ninety-nine.
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