Simone: I am the death of real.
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Viktor: Our ability to manufacture fraud now exceeds our ability to detect it.
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Simone: I guess what I like most about my movies is that they're not about special effects.
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Viktor: You made me, but I made you first.
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Viktor: She's indestructible.
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[to a group of reporters]
Viktor: Simone appears only when I want her to appear.
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Viktor: Creative differences? The difference is, you're not creative.
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Viktor: I did it. Tell them they can fry me. I DID IT! It was premeditated! I strangled her... I bludgeoned her... I set her on fire, and then I killed her! I did it!
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Simone: I just think all elementary schools should have a firing range. How else will the children learn to defend themselves?
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Simone: What's the matter, Viktor? You look so sad. Don't you love me anymore?
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Viktor: I made her.
Elaine: No, Viktor. She made YOU.
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Simone: God created little furry animals to be worn.
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Simone: Have you ever actually *had* dolphin? Pan-fried, with a little garlic and fennel.
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Viktor: Do you know why I, Viktor Taransky, two-time Academy Award nominated director...
Elaine: Viktor, that was short subjects.
Viktor: ...overseeing the most cherished movie project of my entire career, am walking around with - look, look, look - pockets full of these... things?
Elaine: Well, I have a feeling you're gonna tell me.
Viktor: I'm gonna tell ya why. Because Miss Nicola Anders, supermodel with a SAG card, has it written in her contract that all cherry Mike and Ike's be removed from her candy dish, along with strict instructions that any room she walks into must have seven packs of cigarettes waiting for her, three of them open. That there be a personal Jacuzzi within eighty paces of her dressing room, and that any time she travels, her nanny must fly with her, first class.
Elaine: So? What's wrong with that?
Viktor: Elaine, she doesn't have children.
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Viktor: You know, it's easier to fool a hundred thousand people than just one.
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Simone: If there is a hole in the ozone layer, how come I can't see it?
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Simone: Everybody always talks about the negatives of sigarettes, but look at the benefits. I mean you don't eat as much and you've got something to hold in your hand.
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