Mrs. Blatherwick: [repeatedly, holding up a piece of paper and pointing to it, referring to the children not being allowed inside the kitchen] I have it in writin'.
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Great Aunt Adelaide: If there's one thing I won't stand for, it's loose vowels!
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Baby Agatha: Beehive!
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[Simon reaches out to shake Nanny Mcphees hand, introducing himself]
Simon Brown: Oglington Fartworthy.
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Nanny McPhee: [after using a winking donkey to rescue the children from their Great Aunt] One of you is going to have to go and it can't be the donkey.
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Eliza Brown: [descussing the mishaps at the Tea with their father] And the worms in the sandwiches.
Sebastian: That was my idea!... I mean my fault.
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Narrator: Hello. Unfortunately, we must start the story with an empty chair. If it wasn't empty however we wouldn't have a story. But, it is, and we do, so we must tell it.
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[repeated line]
Nanny McPhee: Hmm...
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[repeated line]
Nanny McPhee: I did knock.
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Simon Brown: You must feel at such a disadvantage, Nanny McPhee.
Nanny McPhee: In what way?
Simon Brown: We know your name... but you don't know ours.
[holds out hand]
Simon Brown: Pleased to make your acquantence, I'm Oglinton Fartworthy.
[Children giggle whilst making farty noises]
Nanny McPhee: [Shakes Simon's hand] How d'you do.
Simon Brown: That's F-A-R-T, Fartworthy.
Tora: Booger McHorsefanny.
Lily: Knickers O'Muffin.
Eric Brown: Sandra.
Christianna: Bum.
Sebastian: I'm Bum!
Christianna: Oh, Bossoms.
[Children giggle out loud]
Baby Agatha: Bum.
Christianna: You can't be Bum Aggie! Sebastian's Bum. You're Poop.
Baby Agatha: Poop Bum.
Sebastian: You can't be Poop and Bum!
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[Repeated line]
Nanny McPhee: The nanny you need is Nanny McPhee.
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Mr. Brown: [monologue] I was confident that there was nothing they could do to upset her.
Nanny Whetstone: [charges into the mortuary screaming] THEY'VE EATEN THE BABY!
Mr. Brown: [monologue] Except that.
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Eliza Brown: [regarding the rattle that she has just taken from the baby] It was our mother's rattle. Give it back!
Mrs. Quickly: I'm your mother now.
[snaps rattle in half]
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Eric Brown: The nanny is a witch.
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Lily: Evangeline, do you love Papa?
Evangeline: Of course not! I know my place. That wouldn't be right. I mean... yes.
Lily: Papa, do you love Evangeline?
Mr. Brown: What are you saying? That- that would be totally improper. I mean a thing like that could- could never happen. I mean, obviously... yes.
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Great Aunt Adelaide: Incest!
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Nanny McPhee: There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It's rather sad, really, but there it is.
[Nanny McPhee turns around to walk out of the room, but stops once she hears Simon]
Simon Brown: We will never want you!
Nanny McPhee: Then I will never go.
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Mr. Brown: It wasn't really the baby they were eating. It was a chicken, actually.
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Simon Brown: I NEVER say "please"!
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Mr. Brown: The truth is, I can't support my own family. I never have been able to. There were so many of you... but you were all so delicious.
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Nanny McPhee: Please, Mr. Brown, go back to your newspaper.
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Nanny McPhee: How's the reading coming along?
Evangeline: Oh... alright. I still haven't gotten to the end of the story, though.
Nanny McPhee: There's no need. You are the end of the story.
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Nanny McPhee: When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go.
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[repeated line given after making a sudden appearance]
Nanny McPhee: I did knock.
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Mrs. Quickly: O, I do love my weddings!
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Evangeline: Oh dry up you old trout. This is the most fun I've had in weeks.
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