Movie  2001
L.I.E.      Back      Home
Gary: I don't like that kid. He smiles too much.

Gary: I don't have a father. I have an asshole.
[Laying on the ground as a woman passes by]
Kevin Cole: Her dress is so short, you can see her clint.
Brian: What?
Kevin Cole: Her clint, it's in her pussy.
Howie: You mean "clit."
Kevin Cole: Fuck you, I mean like... clintasaurus.
Howie: It's clitoris, you fuckin' idiot.
Kevin Cole: It's a CLINT.
Brian: Yeah, like you can see Clint Eastwood in her pussy.
Counselor: Just so you know, I know you're different, okay.
Howie: Different ?
Counselor: You're not a nerd, you're not a jock, you're not a scholar or a romeo.
Howie: Or a gangsta.
Counselor: Or a clown.
Howie: So what am I then ?
Counselor: You are a Howie Blitzer.
Howie: My own category, wow.
Howie's friend: Howie, if you do stuff with guys, that's gay stuff. If you do stuff with girls, that's straight stuff.
Howie: On the Long Island Expressway there are lanes going east, lanes going west, and lanes going straight to hell.
Gary: I think he's trying to say it's not politically correct to fuck your sister.
Kevin Cole: We're not even old enough to *vote*, so that's a stupid joke Blitzer.
[Flipping through a magazine]
Kevin Cole: Hey-hey, it's Captain Kirk. Ever see that old Star Trek show where there's a bad Captain Kirk and a good one? And Spock, and Dr. Phones...
Brian: You mean "Bones"?
Kevin Cole: What? It's Phones McCoy.
Brian: "Bones" is a nickname for doctor, idiot.
Kevin Cole: No, it's like get the doctor on the phone, like house calls.
Brian: It's BONES.
Kevin Cole: It's Phones.
Big John: And if I was a spy, what would you think of me then ?
Howie: Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.
Amazon.com
A remarkable movie. L.I.E. centers on Howie, a 15-year-old boy whose mother recently died in a car accident. Neglected by his father, an unscrupulous contractor who's constantly having sex with his new girlfriend, Howie falls in with a group of boys who break into houses for kicks. After one break-in Howie is caught by Big John (Brian Cox, the original Hannibal Lecter from Manhunter), a former Marine with a taste for young boys. But the relationship that develops between Howie and Big John surprises them both. L.I.E. captures male adolescence more genuinely than any other film in recent memory; the realism of the relationships, particularly between Howie and his father, is completely compelling. The movie affects all the senses; you can practically feel the texture of Howie's blue flannel sheets, smell the greenery that grows along the Long Island Expressway. Amazing performances, vivid direction, smartly written--superb all around. --Bret Fetzer