Johnny Knoxville: [Johnny Knoxville hands his fake grandson a flask] Don't hog it all you little prick...
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Ryan Dunn: Ooh my hip! I think I just gave birth!
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Chris Pontius: [after completing Medicine Ball Dodgeball] That was fun. Let's never do that again.
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[Bam has just been branded with a penis-shaped branding iron]
Bam Margera: You gave me a hologram dick! There's three solid dicks, there's one half-assed one right here, and then you gave me a set of balls.
Johnny Knoxville: But a sweet set of balls!
Bam Margera: Rad... I'd rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river than to do that again. Goddamn!
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Johnny Knoxville: [after taking a fall] My head stopped my body from getting really hurt on that.
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Johnny Knoxville: [first lines] Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!"
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Chris Pontius: [after Matt Hoffman attempts to jump the English Channal on his bike] He didnt even make it to Germany!
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Johnny Knoxville: If your asshole can't see the camera, the camera can't see your asshole
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Bam Margera: [before the Riot Control skit] If Knoxville goes in there, I'll French kiss him.
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Phil Margera: [after seeing Bam's brand] He should have made it bigger and more realistic, that puny thing's embarrassing!
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Johnny Knoxville: Hey Ehren, maybe you'll finally get laid after this movie!
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Johnny Knoxville: That long hair don't cover up your red neck.
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Johnny Knoxville: [while Bam is in trailor with Cobra] You crying?
Bam Margera: Yeah.
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Ehren McGhehey: [while in the trunk of a taxi cab] Get me out of here!
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Ryan Dunn: [Johnny Knoxville is about to be launched with the rocket] This is not a good idea.
Bam Margera: Yes it is...
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Chris Pontius: [after drinking the horse semen] I'm completely ashamed of myself.
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April Margera: Why would you burn him in the first place, Dunn?
Ryan Dunn: 'Cause it was funny...
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Chris Pontius: I can't believe I'm fishing with Steve-o as my bait!
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Bam Margera: [after getting shot by riot explosive] I'm crying. I'm a fucking skateboarder and I'm getting shot.
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Steve-O: All right cast me out, goddammit!
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Chris Pontius: I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie.
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Johnny Knoxville: Someone brought crabs to the party!
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Wee Man: What? I cant hear... I think.
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Dave England: Oh God! Oh... Oh... Oh God!... my ass hurts so fucking bad!
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Dimitry Elyashkevich: [Johnny Knoxville is ready to be launced on the rocket] 5... 4... 3... 2... 1!
Bam Margera: Later!
[Presses the launch button]
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Johnny Knoxville: It's gonna hurt a lot, but it's just loud.
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Ryan Dunn: [Riding Oldskool BMX] Why would anybody ride this shit? What's the reasoning? Why can't they just make two of the same size wheel?
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Steve-O: Dude, Wee Man, I would never use a card throwing machine on you!
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Bam Margera: Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3".
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Jay Chandrasekhar: C'mon!
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Chris Pontius: Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge.
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Ehren McGhehey: Where I'm going, I don't need luggage
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Johnny Knoxville: [after getting shot by riot explosive] Is this ok?
[Points to face]
Johnny Knoxville: Then we're ok.
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Ryan Dunn: [after Johnny Knoxville falls head first off the penny farthing bicycle] You didn't land it.
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April Margera: [after seeing the brand on Bam's ass] You're going to have that for life!
Bam Margera: No shit!
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Johnny Knoxville: Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and I'm going to the moon!
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Chris Pontius: [after drinking horse semen] I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself.
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Steve-O: I just had a leech chomp my eyeball. YES!
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Steve-O: [chuckling] You just pleasured a horse.
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Wee Man: What are thinking about, Preston?
Preston Lacy: I wish all of that water was gravy and all those cars were giant biscuits.
Wee Man: [laughing] Are you hungry?
Preston Lacy: I was just saying...
Wee Man: Oh, all right!
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Johnny Knoxville: Rectal bleeding... another first for Jackass.
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Ryan Dunn: [after the riot control test] Son of a... Fuck you!
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Steve-O: I'm Steve-O, and sorry Dad, but no one's gonna miss this for the world. This is the Butt Chug.
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Johnny Knoxville: [while gagging after Pontius drinks the horse semen] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then.
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Bam Margera: Here we are at some random-ass ranch and this is the Brand. And it's gonna suck!
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Description
Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O and the entire crew from the popular MTV franchise return in the most insane DVD of the year, jackass number two. Available in both rated and "too hot for theaters" unrated versions, jackass number two pushes the limits with all-new stunts, pants-wetting practical jokes, fun with bears, bees, snakes, bulls, sharks…and other REALLY bad ideas.
Amazon.com
Jackass Number Two could be alternately titled " From Bowties to Bunny Ears: What Will Chris Pontius Be Wearing Next?" Like the first Jackass movie, Johnny, Bam, Chris, Steve-O and the gang are all here. This "sequel" is full of stunts, pranks and one-liners, and contains more defecation, more male nudity, more scream-worthy moments and of course more uncontrollable laughter. The film opens with a rather well directed cinematic piece: the entire Jackass gang running from a stampede of bulls. From there it takes off into the hysterically exhausting world of Jackass. The bulls are actually in quite a few stunts, one of which has "leader" Johnny Knoxville using himself as a red flag, and getting spearheaded by a charging bull. Ah, good times. Some of the stunts include: "Beehive Limo", "Fart Mask", "Red Rocket" and a fake terrorist plot which boasts the improve line, "Where I'm going, I don't need luggage." Bam gets branded, they fish for sharks with Steve-O as bait, Johnny catches Anacondas with his bare hands, the list goes on. The gem in this collection of antics has to be the offensive interactions with the innocent people on the street by Johnny Knoxville and director/actor Spike Jonez, while disguised as a very old man and woman. Celebrity guests partaking in stunts include extreme sports legends Tony Hawk and Mat Hoffman. The movie culminates in a beautifully choreographed, fantastical and dangerous musical number not to be missed. Throughout the movie it is apparent that the Jackass gang is older and a little more worn, especially when Bam pleads, "Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3". For fans of the TV series and the films, a trilogy may be just what the doctor ordered. The DVD extras (deleted scenes, unrated material and two pretty funny music videos) are more of the same and worth the watch, though some of it is not for the faint hearted. --Rachel Moss
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