Cobra Commander: Fool! You haven't got the B.E.T.! You don't even know where it is! Your plan is laughable!
Golobulus of Cobra LA: But your punishment will not be.
Cobra Commander: Punishment? What about my trial?
Golobulus of Cobra LA: It's over!... and the verdict is guilty... guilty of the one unforgiveable crime... Failure!
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Cobra Commander: Go ahead. Make me the scape-goat. My loyal subordinates could testify to my superb stewardship of Cobra. But you don't have the courage to let them speak!
Serpentor: Wrong again! Defend him if you can.
Cobra Commander: Indeed they shall. You first, noble Destro.
Destro: Militarily speaking, it's only fair to say that Cobra Commander is a world-class... buffoon.
Cobra Commander: WHAT?
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Cobra Commander: You have no jurisdiction over me! Release me at once or taste my wrath!
Golobulus: Be silent, or be silenced!
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Lt. Falcon: Where's the lair?
Cobra Commander: [slithers around and hisses]
Lt. Falcon: I said where's the lair?
Cobra Commander: [slithers through a hole in the door]
Lt. Falcon: It's too late. He's already completely transformed.
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Lt. Falcon: [Klaxon blaring] Oh no! No! Oh boy you really are bad luck.
Jinx: Hey you're no rabbit's foot yourself.
General Hawk: Falcon take a good look at what your irresponsibility has cost us. Three good men injured, Serpentor released by a bizarre new enemy, and all because you can't obey orders and deserted your post. You are confined to quarters until your court-marshal. Get him out of my sight.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: Nemesis Enforcer, throw this worthless sewage into the Abyss of oblivion
Serpentor: No, put him in with the Joe prisoners, so they can see the fate which awaits them.
Pythona: I like that. It's poetic in it's simplicity
Golobulus of Cobra LA: Eh, a trifle melodramatic, but very well... Nemesis Enforcer, take him away...
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Red Dog: Well, look what just dropped in, bruddahs. A hundred seventy pounds of air pollution!
Mercer: I've seen putty with more backbone.
Taurus: I do not like his face. Let us remove it, yes?
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Sgt. Slaughter: I've been expecting you. My name is Sgt Slaughter. Special drill instructor for G.I. Joe.
Lt. Falcon: That's terrific Sarge but, I'm tryin to cut back on the chicken sweat just now, so if you don't mind...
Sgt. Slaughter: You're going nowhere space case. You're here because you're an industrial strenth foul up. My job is to whip you into shape and I mean WHIP! There's only two ways out of my command on your feet like a man or in a ditty bag, an itty bitty bag. You got it?
Lt. Falcon: Yes sir!
Sgt. Slaughter: That's better. Now straighten up and meet the Renegades. They're not real dependable now but when I get through with them what are you going to be?
Mercer, Taurus, Red Dog: Perfect!
Sgt. Slaughter: That's right. Perfect. Meet Mercer an ex-Cobra Viper who's seen the light. Red Dog. Booted out of pro football for unnecessary roughness. And Taurus a circus acrobat with a few loose bats.
Lt. Falcon: Uh hi guys.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: No one defies Golobulus and lives... NO ONE!
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Big Lob: And Big Lob makes his move!
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General Hawk: Lt Falcon I don't know how a misfit like you got into G.I. Joe? I looked at your record to find something good about you and so far I found nothing. Yours is a shameful record of insubordination.
Law: [Whispering] Are they going to shoot Falcon?
Jinx: No. This is just a preliminary heiring.
Duke: General Hawk. If I may address the court. I ask for compassion.
General Hawk: On what grounds?
Lt. Falcon: Duke don't.
Duke: He's my half-brother but I just know that underneath that tough exterior there's a good solider in there that's worth saving.
General Hawk: We'll need a moment to confer.
Lt. Falcon: [Angrily] Listen Duke don't do me anymore favors. You've already done enough.
Duke: [Angrily] I promised our mother that I would look out for you. Maybe I shouldn't have taken on that job.
Jinx: But that means you'll get into trouble too.
Lt. Falcon: Look I don't need anyone to take the fall for me. Just stay out of my life.
Low Light: Show time.
General Hawk: In light of the circumstances Lt Falcon I decided not to hold you over for court-marshall. Lt Falcon you're going to learn what it means to be a G.I. Joe even if it kills you. I'm sending you to the Slaughterhouse.
[Bangs gavel]
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Cobra Commander: Useless. It's all useless. I was once a man. A man!
Roadblock: Will you stop hissing in my face. You're driving me crazy.
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Jinx: Stow it Falcon. I'm allergic to baloney.
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Red Dog: You're not filling your brothers in, Mercer. What's Cobra-La?
Mercer: I've never heard of it.
Taurus: That answer gives me no comfort!
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Serpentor: Die, arrogant Earth scum!
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Pythona: Prepare for eternity!
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: Behold the culmination of centuries! The ultimate fruit of hypergenetic manipulation, a weapon which no enemy can withstand. In several hours these marvelous fungisoids will mature and launch hundreds of giant pods into orbit. The pods will bear spores, and those spores will degenerate all organisms they touch, mutating them into mindless incompetent life forms.
Pythona: when the pods ripen they will burst
[Pods exploding]
Pythona: and shower the earth with enough spores to reduce the entire human civilization to the level of mindless beasts.
[Man roaring as the mutegen spores touch down on him and turn him into a hideous snake beast. The man appears in view and looks at the camera after being hit by the spores. His clothes a tattered by the affects of the mutegen spores knowing that he can't resist the spore's effects]
Golobulus of Cobra LA: Only those beneath the protection of Cobra LA's icedome will be spared. But the pods will not ripen in the freezing outer space without energy. That's why I must have...
Serpentor: The broadcast energy transmitter. Of course.
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Beach-head: You six rawhides, you're gonna learn soldiering, and - hey, there's only five of you. Where is that gold-plated goof-off, 'Lt. Falcon'?
Jinx: Terrific question!
Big Lob: Man said he has some errands to do. Go to the tailor, wallpaper his footlocker... weird stuff.
Tunnel Rat: I think he had a date or something.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: The Last thing you will hear... is the cracking of your vertebrae... one... BY ONE!
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Beach-head: I hope you BOTH get fleas!
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Duke: I want you guys to infiltrate Cobra's Terrordome and destroy it. By the way. How's he doing?
Sgt. Slaughter: It's too soon to tell but I think the kid's got a lot of potential, amd by the way I won't tell him you asked.
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Beach-head: What is he doing? Get rid of that thing.
[Beach-Head throws the explosive device away on to be horrified that Order has retrieved it and given it back to him]
Law: Order! Give it here. I'm sorry Beach Head. He's usually very obedient.
Beach-head: Yeah well just get rid of that thing.
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Shipwreck: Well ship my bones to Davey Jones.
Snowjob: He gives me chills.
Quick Kick: What did they do to him?
Lady Jaye: He's inhuman.
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Sgt. Slaughter: My job is to whip you into shape, and I mean whip! There's only two ways out of my command, on your feet like a man, or in a ditty bag. An itty-bitty ditty bag! GOT IT?
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Jinx: Oh, terrific.
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Jinx: The first one to call me bad luck gets a knuckle massage.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: You have lost, GI Joe! LOST!
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Shipwreck: Save my bones for Davy Jones!
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Cobra Commander: No! Not the spores! I'm a citizen of Cobra-La. No! NOOOOOO!
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Law: Hey, Law and Order's a team, man. He finds the bombs, I drive the car. We tried the other way, but it didn't work.
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Beach-head: What's that bow-wow doing here?
Law: That's my dog, Order. He's trained to sniff out explosives. Order, seek!
Beach-head: This is supposed to be YOUR test, Law!
Law: Hey, Law and Order are a team, man. He find the bombs, I drive the car. We tried it the other way, but it didn't work.
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Lt. Falcon: Don't say that, Duke. Doc'll fix you up.
Duke: This isn't Doc's day for miracles. It's my own fault... ah... I was too slow.
Lt. Falcon: No, no! You did it to save me!
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Baroness: Those Drednok are flying awfully close to the capture plants.
Dr. Mindbender: Those aren't Drednok. Those are GI Joes.
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[Seeing one of Cobra-La's flying creatures]
Roadblock: Even their air force is ugly!
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Baroness: [with everyone gasping] Cobra Commander, this is treason.
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Serpentor: I, Serpentor, Emperor of Cobra, salute you, most noble one. Pythona tells me I owe you my freedom
Golobulus of Cobra LA: Your freedom and your life. Know that I am Golobulus, supreme ruler of this kingdom of Cobra-La! It was I who created you, Serpentor. You are mine
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Serpentor: None may challenge Serpentor! This, I command!
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: It is our greater destiny that concerns me now. Where is the Broadcast Energy Transmitter?
Serpentor: I was unable to capture it, but I shall not fail you again, my lord.
Golobulus of Cobra LA: Let's hope not, Serpentor. I would hate to lose you.
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Sgt. Slaughter: Where's Falcon?
Red Dog: Who cares? We don't need...
Sgt. Slaughter: It's time you learned we're a team, Red Dog. We all go home or nobody goes home.
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Flint: Flint to base.
Sgt. Slaughter: What's up?
Flint: Look at Cobra Commander. Those pods contain enough spores to mutate every man, woman and child on this planet.
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Sgt. Slaughter: At ease Renegades! We're going to infiltrate Cobra's armory and destroy it.
Lt. Falcon: Infiltrate their armory uh? Why don't we go in without any weapons and make it REALLY educational.
Sgt. Slaughter: Go in without weapons? I like the way you think kid.
[Red Dog, Mercer and Taurus growl at Falcon]
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Lt. Falcon: Want me to kiss it and make it better?
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[slaps Falcon around]
Serpentor: Who's with you? You can not hold out forever
Lt. Falcon: No. All I need is five more minutes.
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Sgt. Slaughter: When I'm through, scuzzbucket, they're gonna scrape you off the walls with a squeegee!
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Sgt. Slaughter: The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: You were my one hope Cobra Commander and you failed me... MISERABLY!
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: Once this worm reaches the top of this pole the pods will ripen and this pitiful planet will be ours.
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Sgt. Slaughter: AT EASE, DISEASE!
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Beach-head: Cut the macho Tunnel-Rat - NOW DO IT!
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Roadblock: Hey I don't like that sound. Tell me dude what's going down?
Cobra Commander: The beginning of the end of the human race.
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: You were my one hope to conquer the earth Cobra Commander and you failed me... MISERABLY!
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Golobulus of Cobra LA: I will stain my hands with your blood!
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General Hawk: How is he, Scarlett?
Scarlett: Not good.
Duke: Falcon, I just realized, I can't look out for you anymore. Just promise me you'll get your life together.
Lt. Falcon: I will Duke. I'll make you proud. You'll see.
Duke: Yo Joe.
Scarlett: He's gone into a coma.
General Hawk: Don't worry, Falcon. We'll do everything we can for Duke. Yo Joe.
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Roadblock: Play it straight, or there's no doubt, I'll turn your eyeballs inside out.
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Law: Man, whoever heard of being shot down by salad?
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Alpine: How are you at splicing?
Gung-Ho: Nothing like a little on-the-job training!
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Roadblock: Hey this is your...
Cobra Commander: Yes. It was my faceplate as I was once a man.
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Baroness: If you ask me, some of them did not evolve.
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Cobra Commander: The fault, most imperial Serpentor, lies not within us, but within YOU! Your leadership has been pompous, pusilanimous and pathetic!
Serpentor: Yes, leadership IS at the heart of the matter isn't it Commander? But it's not mine that's inadequate, it's yours! Your ego driven stupidity has converted victory into catastrophe for the last time!
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Zartan: We don't know who you are, where you came from, or even what side you're on. Why should we risk our necks on your behalf?
Pythona: Does *this* answer your question?
[produces a huge ruby from under her robe]
Zartan: A gem of that size answers *all* my questions.
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Serpentor: The world will soon be ours, great Golobulus!
Golobulus of Cobra LA: May your deeds match your words, Serpentor.
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Serpentor: Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
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