[Kate's credit card transaction shows up on his computer]
Stefan: She's using her credit card again. Typical Americans.
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Max: Who's ever after you are real pros.
Kate: I guess I should be proud, it would be embarrassing to be killed by an amateur.
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Max Kirkpatrick: Please, Rita. Just cut me a little slack on space, OK.
Rita: No, no, no! You have run out of slacks, Max! No more slacks for you!
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[after dumping a ton of mail on Max's desk]
Rita: THIS is your mail because it has your name on it! My mail is sometimes addressed to OCCUPANT. Because, Max, I AM the fucking occupant of my place! Whereas YOU are no longer an occupant. Is this sinking in? GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF MY APARTMENT!
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[Rosa is bringing in a Caffe Romano pizza]
Cop at door: Hey, babe! If you were Dominos, I'd get a discount.
Rosa: If I were Dominos, you'd still be alive.
[Shoots him]
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[confronting Kazak on the Tortuga]
Max Kirkpatrick: You killed my partner, my cousin, my crew...
Ilya Kazak: [mockingly] Ssssssorry.
Max Kirkpatrick: You really have no conscience, do you?
Ilya Kazak: Oh, I can't afford the luxury of a conscience.
[to his guards]
Ilya Kazak: Kill him!
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Max Kilpatric: Is it a felony to shoot a computer?
Louis: Only in California.
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Kate McQuean: You know that they call a Florida cop in a three-piece suit?
Max Kilpatric: No. What?
Kate McQuean: The defendant!
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[Max is on the phone with a convenience store clerk and Ilya Kazak]
Max Kirkpatrick: Why don't you drop that bullshit American accent.
Ilya Kazak: [sounding American] I don't know what you mean.
Max Kirkpatrick: Dosvedanya, Asshole!
Convenience Store Clerk: Dosve... WHAT!
Ilya Kazak: [normal voice] Dosvedanya, Asshole?
Convenience Store Clerk: Yo, fuck YOU!
[hangs up]
Ilya Kazak: Clever BASTARD!
[hangs up]
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Ilya Kazak: [after Juantorena failed to kill Kate with the home explosion] I'm getting most annoyed by your petty incompetence.
Emilio Juantorena: Hey, you seem to forget you tap phones for a living, I tap banks!
[Kazak cocks his .45]
Emilio Juantorena: If it wasn't for me you'd be stuck in Havana pulling bananas out of your ass!
Emilio Juantorena: [realizes a gun is pointed at his head] Oh, what. You're going to shoot me.
Ilya Kazak: Yes.
[shoots him]
Ilya Kazak: You! You know how to use a computer as well as him.
Zhukov: DA!
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Zhukov: I can't believe it. They used their cellphone. It's like painting a huge bullseye on your ass!
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Adam: [nervous] Are you looking for hardware... or is it software you're interested in?
Kate: [sexy] Hardware. I was hoping to demo your unit.
Adam: I'd have to... boot up first.
Kate: [sexy] Well, why....don'cha?
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Lieutenant Meyerson: Max, you obviously got me confused with someone who gives a rat's ass.
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Kate: No one tried to kill me! This is Miami. I'm local. We only shoot the tourists.
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[Max has called his cousin Jodi and got the answering machine]
Ilya Kazak: [on the machine] Hello. You have reached the number of Detective Kirkpatrick's meddling relative. Cousin Jodi cannot answer the phone right now, but if you wish to leave a message, please contact your nearest psychic.
[scream from Jodi, gunshot]
Ilya Kazak: Dosvedanya to you, *asshole*!
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[Rosa and Max are fighting on the beach. Rosa just kicked him in the groin]
Rosa: Ahh. Did that hurt you? Poor little baby. Let Mommy kick it for you and make it *better*!
[kicks him again]
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Hog Truck Driver: Hello pigs!
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[after using his computer's keyboard to subdue an armed man]
Max Kirkpatrick: So, a computer *is* good for something after all.
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