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Justice of the Peace: Well, I've had a lot of shotgun weddings, but this is the first fire ax wedding I've ever officiated at.
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John Townsend: I love her as a husband loves his wife, and you as a man loves a woman.
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Carol Townsend: It's funny the evolution of marriage. First, a double bed, then twin beds, now separate rooms.
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Carol Townsend: Aren't you coming up?
John Townsend: Directly, dear. I see Andrews hovering over the Scotch and I wouldn't want to disappoint him. Will you have a spot before you turn in?
Carol Townsend: No thank you. Hurry won't you?
John Townsend: But I thought you didn't want to go to bed.
Carol Townsend: John, you just *won't* understand.
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Carol Townsend: One never does know, does one, about one's best friend.
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