Auntie Annie: They'll do anything for you Mrs/ Shah. Good Samaritans they are. Just like in the Bible.
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Stella Moorhouse: Let's elope. That's soooo romantic.
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Stella Moorhouse: I'll never let the colour of your Dad come between us.
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Ella Khan: They filmed "The Dambusters" here.
Meenah Khan: Mam, you say that EVERYTIME we come to Bradford.
Ella Khan: Well they bloody did.
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[Heard by Mrs Shah from outside]
Meenah Khan: [Referring to the Shahs' daughters] Have you seen the state of them two. One of 'em's got a moustache like Dad.
Ella Khan: Kids eh. Were your two like that Mrs. Shah?
Mrs. Shah: [Sternly] No.
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Ella Khan: [to Mrs. Shah] Piss of out of my house, and take Laurel and Hardy with you.
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Tariq Khan: [Watching Enoch Powell speaking on TV] We should have a whip round and get Dad repatriated.
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George Khan: ... when I come this country, I have no luggage. Today what I got?
Meenah Khan: You got a chip shop. dad.
George Khan: Right. Own bloody business, see.
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[Annie meets Tariq and Abdul's brides to be]
Auntie Annie: [sarcastic] Is it these two. They're bleedin' gorgeous. You're lucky you pair aren't ya. Landin' a couple of belters like these.
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Mr. Moorhouse: See. You let one of 'em in, and the whole fuckin' tribe turns up.
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Mrs. Shah: I will never allow my daughters to marry into this jungly family of half-breeds.
Ella Khan: Well they may be half-bred, but at least they're not friggin' inbred like those two monstrosities.
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Auntie Annie: Our Peter knows how far he can go before I knock him to Kingdom Come. And that's just my husband Mrs. Shah.
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Ella Khan: Sorry about him Mr. Shah. He's just been circumcised.
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Priest: God Bless.
George Khan: Allah go with you.
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Priest: God bless.
George Khan: And our god with you.
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Sajid Khan: Mum! Mum! The Pakis are here!
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Ella Khan: Do you think I'm a good mother?
Auntie Annie: No, I think you're a friggin' awful mother.
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Mrs. Shah: I believe in strict discipline. Especially in a NON-Pakistani environment.
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Mark: Gunga Din! Drinking the white man's brew!
Fat Twat: What are you doing here, Abdul?
Abdul Khan: It's me stag night. I'm gettin' married.
Mark: Who to?
Abdul Khan: Dunno. Me dad hasn't bothered introducing us yet.
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George Khan: I won't have my son looking like bastard hippie.
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[In the hospital following Sajid's circumcision]
George Khan: Tickle-Tackle all gone?
Doctor: [Puzzled] Circumcision was absolutely fine.
George Khan: You Indian?
Ella Khan: [whispering] George.
George Khan: [to Ella] Bastard Indian.
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[Abdul and Tariq approach a local nightclub]
Bouncer: All right, Tony, how ya goin' mate?
Tariq Khan: All right, Bazza?
Bouncer: Yeah, good to see ya. All right, in ya go.
Tariq Khan: Nice, mate.
Bouncer: [to Abdul] Where do you think you're going, smiler?
Tariq Khan: This is our kid, erm...
Abdul Khan: Arthur, me name's Arthur.
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Mr. Shah: [to George] You're wife's a disgrace.
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Amazon.com
Manchester in 1971 is not the ideal time and place to raise a proper Pakistani family. But George Khan (Om Puri), father of seven unruly moppets and husband to a willful British wife (Linda Bassett), is determined to wield his influence over his clan. But what a clan this is, with Nazir (Ian Aspinall), who refuses his arranged wife; Saleem (Chris Bisson) who creates--shall we say controversial?--works of art; Tariq (Jimi Mistry), the mod boy who lives for discos and English girls; Meenah (Archie Panjabi), the only girl and tomboy extraordinaire; and Sajid (Jordan Routledge), who lives in a dirty fur-trimmed parka. Abdul (Raji James) and Maneer (Emil Marwa) stay more quietly in the background, although they lend their voices to the chorus of dissent against traditional ways. East Is East is Damien O'Donnell's directorial debut, and he nails the raucous tone from the opening scene, a church parade where the Pakistani children must do some deft maneuvering to avoid being seen by their Muslim father. At times such as these, the film is a straightforward comedy, and the children milk the cultural differences for every laugh they can. Yet the film takes a more somber turn when Saleem balks at his father's insistence on arranging Saleem's marriage. Puri is magnificent straddling the line between lovable father and brute enemy as he demands that the others obey his will, and his performance can be difficult to watch as he metamorphoses. Sympathies toward the characters shift throughout the film, highlighting the superb acting of the entire cast. Ultimately, though, humor wins out, making East Is East a tremendously fun film. --Jenny Brown
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