[In the goal singing]
Julie Gaffney: Fulton scored, Fulton scored. I am really bored. Fulton's great, Fulton's great. A year ago he couldn't even skate.
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Coach Orion: [in reference to Bombay] He IS good.
Charlie Conway: Just getting started.
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Dwayne: What'd he say?
Russ: Something about a shrinking sphincter.
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Russ: Hey, Biff. One more thing. After we beat you, the Warriors die and the Ducks fly.
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Coach Orion: You're playing hard. I'm proud of you guys.
Luis Mendoza: They're cheap-shotting us to death.
Coach Orion: I know they are. I know they are.
Lester Averman: It's going to take a miracle for us to hold on.
Dean Portman: [enters the lockeroom reading his scholarship] Dean Portman is awarded a full athletic and academic scholarship to the Eden Hall Academy. I had this lying around the house in Chicago, my attorney thought I should sign, I agreed. It's official boys. I'm back!
Charlie Conway: [aside to Orien] Bombay.
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Dwayne: Waiter I have too many forks... I only need one... Ya'll... It's just...
[Picks up lil' fork]
Dwayne: Hey, what's this lil' bitty one for?
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Goldberg: It's not enough that I get shot at on the ice, now I have to worry about getting nailed off the ice. Why am I always getting shot at?
Fulton: You're a goalie, dude. Deal.
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Gordon Bombay: [walking down the hall with Charlie, he leads him to a trophey cabinet and motions to a picture of himself] Check this out. Look at that hair.
[chuckles]
Gordon Bombay: I look like Greg Brady.
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Mrs. Madigan: Every Monday you will have a practice quiz. Every Wednesday you will have a real quiz. Every Friday you will have an exam. And any time I FEEL like it you will have a surprise quiz or exam.
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Connie Moreau: This ninja stuff really makes you look uh, I don't know how you say um...
Guy Germaine: [suavely] Ruggedly handsome?
Connie Moreau: Amazingly stupid!
Guy Germaine: [sarcastically] Very funny.
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Coach Orion: [blows whistle] Let's go! Get over here! Take a knee. You guys are not skating like Warriors. You look like something else. You look like Ducks.
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Rick: [to the ducks] You're nothin' but white trash!
Russ: [leans forward] Uh, who are you callin' white trash?
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Charlie Conway: [Gordon has set Charlie's alarm for 6AM] Go away.
Gordon Bombay: Can't do that. Come on.
[flips Charlie and his mattress over]
Gordon Bombay: Get dressed, Charlie.
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Charlie Conway: [after Cole steals Charlie's lunch] Aww. C'mon, my mommy made me brownies
Fulton: Yeah, fresh warm ones.
Rick: It's too bad about your bash brother, I heard he was too scared to leave home.
Fulton: Portman ain't scared of nothin'.
Cole: Eww, what the hell kind of brownies are these?
Charlie Conway: I gotta tell her to stop using horse turds in the recipe.
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Gordon Bombay: [to priest] Excuse me, one second.
[takes Hans' jersey and lays it on the coffin, then addresses the 'Ducks']
Gordon Bombay: Every time you touch the ice, remember that it was Hans who taught us to fly.
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Gordon Bombay: I was like you, Charlie. When I played hockey, I was a total hot shot... tried to take control of every game. I wound up quitting. So I tried the law. Same thing. I ruled the courtroom, but inside I was a mess. Started drinking. Man, I was going down. But then this great thing happened, maybe the best thing ever: I got arrested and sentenced to community service. And there you were: Charlie and the Ducks. And as hard as I fought it, there you were. You gave me a life, Charlie, and I want to say thank you. I told Orien about all this when I talked to him about taking over. I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man.
Charlie Conway: [astonished] You did?
Gordon Bombay: [nods] So be that man, Charlie. Be that man.
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Goldberg: Great, now I have to worry about being nailed off the ice as well. Why am I always getting shot at?
Fulton: You're a goalie, dude, deal.
Goldberg: Thanks, Fulton, real sensitive.
Fulton: You're welcome.
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Coach Orion: Goldberg, when's the last time you practiced?
Goldberg: Well, we don't really practice per say. We either play or... play around.
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