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Narrator: There is a secret test hidden within the SAT. This test does not measure a student's attitude at reading, writing and arithmetic. It measures a student's ability to lie, cheat, fight and kill. Those who score well are recruited to a secret paramilitary academy. Some call them seductresses. Some call them spies. Fools call them innocent. They call themselves D.E.B.S.
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Lucy in the Sky: Are you saying you don't want to introduce me to your friends?
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Lucy in the Sky: [they are just starting to make out] How much time do we have?
Amy: Three minutes and forty-two seconds.
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Janet: [after being told that Mr. Phipps doesn't have to tell them what happened "the last time"] Will someone please tell me what happened?
Max: Every time Lucy In the Sky comes around, she kidnaps Amy and we have to rescue her.
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Dominique: Mon Dieu! Elle est capture! Amy! She is kidnapped! Lucy in the Sky has Amy!
Max: Motherfucker!
Janet: What? Again? What do we do?
Dominique: What we do best.
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Mr. Tibbs: Lucinda Reynolds, aka: Lucy in the Sky, is back in the States. She was spotted last night. I don't have to tell you what happened the last time.
Janet: What did happen the last time?
Mr. Tibbs: I don't have to tell you.
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Lucy in the Sky: Why don't you want me to meet your friends?
Amy: I do want you to meet them. It's just...
Lucy in the Sky: It's just what?
Amy: It's just that they wouldn't understand.
Lucy in the Sky: Are you ashamed of me?
Amy: No, I'm not ashamed of you.
Lucy in the Sky: You just don't want your friends to know about me.
Amy: God, do we have to do this now?
Lucy in the Sky: It's just... I come to town, I capture you, we fuck, they rescue you, and then you're gone. I don't hear from you. It's not easy for me either, you know. I have to figure out all these nefarious plans just so I can get close to you just so we can...
Amy: I love you.
Lucy in the Sky: Really? Cause I didn't know that.
Amy: Now you do.
Lucy in the Sky: Tell me again how much time do we have.
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Janet: [the DEBS have infiltrated the warehouse and have beaten Lucy's armed guards, and are catching their breath. Janet still thinks Max is wearing her sweater] It's just that my mom gave me that sweater for Christmas. I mean, if you spilled something on it, I wouldn't be mad.
[Max fixes her with an exasperated glare and walks off. Janet realizes Max is annoyed]
Janet: Sorry.
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Janet: [while planning an assault, Max is wearing a sweater] Is that my sweater?
Max: What?
Janet: I remembered I loaned you my sweater.
Max: I gave that back.
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Amy: [after they've rescued Amy] Oh, Janet, I borrowed your sweater.
Janet: Oh, that's okay.
[pause]
Janet: Um, did you get blood on it?
Max: Janet!
Janet: Sorry!
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Description
Sultry crime boss Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster, The Fast and the Furious) is back in the states and the D.E.B.S.- an elite team of paramilitary college co-ed superspies- are hot on her trail. But when their top agent, gorgeous Amy Bradshaw (Sara Foster, The Big Bounce), mysteriously disappears after coming face to face with the attractive young villainess, the D.E.B.S. begin a full-scale search for Lucy's secret lair, never suspecting that Amy may not want to be rescued after all, in this smart and sexy spy spoof about love at first gun sight.
Amazon.com
You can say this about D.E.B.S.: director Angela Robinson's 2005 feature isn't very good, but it is surprisingly entertaining. The premise, which bears a passing resemblance to any number of previous films (from Heathers and Clueless to Charlie's Angels and the Austin Powers franchise), involves a secret government agency recruiting young women as spies, based on their smarts, their ability to lie convincingly, and the fact that they look fetching in ultra-miniskirts. Four of the D.E.B.S. are then charged with collaring "criminal mastermind" Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster), who has returned to the States after hatching all manner of nefarious plots overseas. Then comes the twist: Diamond is gay, and one of our heroines, Amy Bradshaw (Sara Foster), unexpectedly finds herself falling in love with her. Out goes the espionage element; in comes the love story, and therein lies the surprise, as this burgeoning lesbian relationship is handled with unexpected sympathy, even tenderness. Sure, the acting, even by veteran grownups like Holland Taylor and Michael Clarke Duncan, is almost uniformly lame, and the script is silly; overall, the film would have to put on considerable weight to even be considered frothy. Still, D.E.B.S. isn't a bad way to kill a couple of hours. DVD bonus features include a making-of featurette and commentary by Robinson and the cast. --Sam Graham
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