Samson: Shut up, Dell!
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Xavier: It's tough to be a man baby!
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Mr. Rhythm: Don't let your dick run your life.
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Tyrone: This is the same jug Abraham Lincoln used. One drink and he freed the slaves. And we ain't had a job since.
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Samson: Fool! Your fare is the only thing stopping me from breaking your face!
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Harold: [Just before dropping Mr. Bravo in to a swimming pool from a balcony] You know what you're problem is Bravo? You're so short, your brain is just too close to your asshole.
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Dell: Bruce Lee ain't dead you know. They got him frozen in carbonite down under Chatsworth. They're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.
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Dell: Nobody ever goes in the army any more, except blacks. Someday one nigger's gonna wakeup and say, "We got the guns, mustard gas and the tanks. We run the army!" And they're going to take over the whole country and we'll be in with them already. We'll be token whites. Think about it.
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Tyrone: [shouting in megaphone] You better come out now, you scumbags!
Harold: Cops don't talk like that.
Tyrone: They do to me.
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Dell: Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy.
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Dell: If I wanted responsibility I woulda been a damn sex surrogate!
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Tyrone: Where to?
Angel of Death: I am the Angel of Death. Take me to hell.
Tyrone: Got any luggage?
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Buddy: [looking at male strippers] Those guys are faggots!
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FBI Chief: Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions with you?
Dell: Albert don't have no political convictions. He's an American!
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Dell: I don't work January the 8th, 'cause it's Elvis' birthday.
[imitates Elvis]
Dell: Oh hunh-hunh!
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Samson: Why don't you get off the street and get a decent job?
Hooker In Mr. T's Cab: Cause I need the bread!
Samson: Then get a job at the bakery.
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Tyrone: Albert white bread, chicken shit, Hockenberry.
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Samson: Albert's just telling the truth. We're the worst company in town, and we know it!
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