Calamity Jane: This town ain't big enough! Not for me and that frilled-up, flirtin', man-rustlin' petticoat, it ain't!
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Henry Miller: [looks inside stage coach] Is there a woman in here?
[Indians are looking at and touching Frances clothes and bag inside the stage coach]
Francis Fryer: No sir. Just Indians.
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Calamity Jane: [singing] At last my heart's an open door / And my secret love's no secret any more.
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[Bill is dressed as an Indian woman with a baby]
Calamity Jane: Gosh almighty, it's Bill Hickok!
[proceeds to laugh along with everyone else]
Wild Bill Hickok: [hands baby over] Here take him.
[stands up]
Wild Bill Hickok: The next man that laughs is gonna get his head ventilated.
[silence and Bill sits down. Calamity laughs again after a few moments]
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[Katie is looking in a mirror talking to herself in a dressing room]
Katie Brown: You'd like to run away wouldn't you? Catch a train get out of this crazy town. But you can't. Your trapped. There is no train. Oh clever, clever you...
[starts to powder her face is startled by a knock and told she has five minutes. She looks in the mirror and sees her face is white with powder]
Katie Brown: Five minutes and look at you. You haven't even got a face
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Calamity Jane: Make mine sarsparilly!
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Calamity Jane: Look at these! Silk, pure silk! I'll bet her mother spun 'em!
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Calamity Jane: Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers!
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Calamity Jane: That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your *pockets* you toothless old buffalo!
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Calamity Jane: [singing] Hi Joe / say where'd you get them fancy clothes? / I know / off some fella's laundry line. / Hi Bow / aren't you the prairie rose / Smell like a watermelon vine.
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[the singer is a man in drag]
Wild Bill Hickok: She ain't very good lookin'
Calamity Jane: That ain't all she ain't.
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