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Bobby: [after his dad's overdone sentimentality has induced mass vomiting throughout the plane] This is why we don't travel.
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Frankie, the Big Kahuna: What does that mean, "we're not in?"
Annette: Uneducated guess? I think it means they're not in.
Bobby: Boy, it's quite a piece of dialogue when you intellectual masterminds get together! I should be writing this down!
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Frankie, the Big Kahuna: But what does "we" mean?
Bobby: [impossibly sarcastic] I think it's the plural form, meaning "more than one." Would you like me to conjugate that for you, Pop? Do you know what "conjugate" means, Dad?
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Troy: You can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys.
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Michael: We tried to figure where to take you last night, but you kept saying, "Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh did I ever leave Ohio?"
Frankie, the Big Kahuna: That's a damn good question.
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Dick Dale: You're asking me if I, Dick Dale, can play Venus?
Frankie, the Big Kahuna: Yes.
Dick Dale: No.
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Frankie, the Big Kahuna: [at the bar] Gimme another one, Little Buddy.
Bartender: Don't call me that. I *hate* that!
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Amazon.com
Is Back to the Beach a masterpiece of postmodernism? Or just a slaphappy hoot? Hey, why can't it be both? Either way, this is a zippy tribute to/spoof of the 1960s Beach Party pictures. Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello, landlocked in the Midwest since their surfing days, return to the California sun with their wild kids. There are mucho gags about the earlier films (including Frankie on a surfboard in front of a cheesy rear-projection wave), and cameos (much of the Leave It to Beaver cast, surf-guitar king Dick Dale). Pee-wee Herman sails in to perform "Surfin' Bird," and Annette teaches a thousand people "The Jamaican Ska." All that's missing is Erich von Zipper. This is a genuinely smart and funny movie, although it helps to know the original films, so you can savor the moment a beach boy gazes at Annette and marvels, "After all that surfing, her hair's perfectly dry!" --Robert Horton
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