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Gary: I just bet my balls... and shook on it.
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Gary: Are you the pimp?
Rajah: Yes.
Gary: You look like Gandhi!
Rajah: I've got girls to sit on your face.
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Cole Whittier: The car has low mileage and handles like a dream.
Rick Gassko: Well, so does Debbie.
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Brad: Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left.
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Rick Gassko: It's time for spice, and the lucky spice is... paprika! "Oh thank you, thank you! You've made me the happiest spice in the world!"
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Jay: Gentlemen... start your boners.
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Rudy: Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!
Gary: Yeah! Yeah yeah! All the things that make life worth living for!
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Rick Gassko: Well Mr. Thompson, that's quite a list. And I think, if I really apply myself, I could be a totally changed person by the time we finish lunch!
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O'Neill: I wish I had someone I could really respect. Hey, look at the cans on that bimbo!
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Rudy: [toasting] To girls with big tits!
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Debbie Thompson: Are there gonna be girls at the party?
Rick Gassko: No... it's a stag party, and that means that the gals stay home!
Debbie Thompson: I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about hookers.
Rick Gassko: Ooohh... those!
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Gary: [after being arrested and handcuffed to THE she/male he slept with earlier] NO, NOT HER, SHE PEES STANDING UP, NOT HER!
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Rajah: And remember, bitches back in 45 minutes, or Milt cuts your balls off!
Gary: Milt, who's Milt?
[a giant thug smashes a window with his head]
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Mr. Thompson: [tied up and gagged] MMF MFF MFFFFF MFFF!
Rick Gassko: He says he's having a wonderful time and he's thinking of changing his name to Spike.
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[greeting everybody at table]
Cole Whittier: Mr. Thompson... Mrs. Thompson... Debbie... and...
Rick Gassko: Bond. James Bond.
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Rick Gassko: [after Stan has left the syringe for taking blood sticking out of his arm] Um, Stan? Is this supposed to be like this?
Dr. Stan Gassko: Uh... no, that's incorrect.
[carefully removes syringe]
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Cole Whittier: Rick, I want Debbie. You dump her and I'll give you cash. Ten thousand dollars, plus a G.E. toaster over; a Litton microwave; a Cuisinart; Michelin tires, brand new; a set of Sears' best metric tools...
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Mr. Thompson: Rick, let's cut through the B.S.
Rick Gassko: I'd like that.
Mr. Thompson: I think you're an asshole.
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Rick Gassko: What the hell are you doing?
Brad: I'm slashing my wrist.
Rick Gassko: With an electric razor?
Brad: Yeah, I couldn't find any razor blades.
Rick Gassko: Well at least your wrist will be smooth and kissable.
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[on Mr. Nicholas' "size"]
Rick Gassko: Personally, I was impressed when they opened the World Trade Center, but this, this is a piece of work.
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Rick Gassko: I hope you like potato salad... it's chunky style... my favorite!
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Rick Gassko: Attention, passengers, we are now leaving Nun Central on our journey to Hell and beyond.
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Rick Gassko: Attention, passengers, we are now leaving Nun Central and are beginning our journey to Hell and beyond. The captain has turned off the "no smoking" sign, and you may now move about the cabin freely.
[Kids start screaming, reading Playboy, and gambling]
Rick Gassko: Thank you for being Catholic, and for choosing the Saint Gabriel's School Bus.
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She/Tim: By the way, my name is Tim and I'm always available. I also do engine work on BMW's.
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Dr. Tina Gassko: What did you say, Stanley? What did you say, Stanley? What did you say, Stanley? You said no hookers! You said no hookers! No hookers! No hookers! No hookers! No hookers!
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Brad: Guys, GUYS GUYS!
Suitcase Man: For the last time I'm telling you to get off! OFF!
Brad: GUYS!
Dr. Stan Gassko: Holy shit!
Rick Gassko: Diagnoses?
Dr. Stan Gassko: Medically speaking?
Rick Gassko: Yes.
Dr. Stan Gassko: Whacked out of his brains on drugs.
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Rajah: Pretty heavy, hey dude?
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Hotel Manager: Just where do you think you are?
Jay O'Neill: The Library of Congress?
Rudy: Detroit?
Brad: Beyond the sun?
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Description
This outrageously funny look at one man's final moments of bachelorhood stars TOM HANKS as Rick, reluctant recipient of a bachelor bash given by a group of friends who view partying as their full-time religion. Rick's worried fiancée, Debbie (TAWNY KITAEN), dresses up in disguise and crashes the party to spy on her future husband. To complicate the night further, Debbies father hires her ex-boyfriend to win back his daughter. It turns out to be an evening the soon-to-be bride and groom will never forget.
Amazon.com
Bachelor Party may not be the first trashy sex comedy, but it is perhaps the definitive trashy sex comedy. The movie makes its first breast joke before the opening credits have even finished. A cheerful school bus driver (Tom Hanks) has somehow gotten engaged to a lovely young heiress, much to the chagrin of her family and vengeful ex-boyfriend. The bus driver's roustabout friends decide to throw him a bachelor party--and you can pretty much guess the rest: scantily clad hookers, rampant drug use, bad 1980s new-wave music, really bad 1980s fashions, full frontal nudity (curiously, due to a scene in a Chippendales strip club, there's almost as much male flesh on display as female), bestiality, racial stereotypes, blackmail, attempted suicide, all played for unrepentant cheap laughs. Throughout, Tom Hanks floats along with a carefree (if slightly sheepish) grin, projecting such an air of impish innocence that it's hard to be offended by any of it. And it all ends in a wedding, just like a Shakespearean comedy. Also featuring the blinding white teeth and big hair of Tawny Kitaen (playing the good girl Hanks marries), buxom scream queen Monique Gabrielle, and Adrian Zmed, whose career has not fared as well as Hanks's. --Bret Fetzer
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