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Gilbertine: Nanny Gilbertine is so sick of the "Boo-boo" book she could just gag...
[baby Bink starts to giggle]
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Eddie: If you want to be a shoplifter, go to J.C. Penney.
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[Eddie's pants were on fire, and Veeko stomped on the fire to put it out]
Veeko: That's how you put out campfires.
Eddie: Is that... a fact?
Veeko: Used to do it in boy scouts.
Eddie: You toasted your marshmallows... over a pile of flaming GONADS?
Veeko: We usually used logs.
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Eddie: [after accidently letting some mixture being poured on him] THAT'S IT! NO MERCY!
[tries to walk through the slippery puddle of mixture]
Eddie: This ain't no nursury school battle of wits anymore. This is my '5'"10" of guile, gut, and gristle, versus you 2 1/2 feet of goo-goos,gaa-gaas, and giggles.
[slips on the floor, but climbs up again]
Eddie: If the Milwaukee Mob couldn't kill me, no milk-puking little thumb-sucker's got a candle's chance on a cyclone of getting the better of me!
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Eddie: [Baby Bink just got a way from the villains again ater many times, but this time by crawling into a small sewer tunnel] No problem, fellas. It ain't a hole. It's a tunnel. And what's every tunnel got?
Norby: Ooh! Don't tell me! I know, I know, I know. It's uh, uh, uh - -...
Veeko: Tollbooth at the end.
Eddie: Are you always this stupid, or do you do this just to annoy me?
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Norby: [singing] Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb her HAIR was white as snow! And every which way that Mary went, the lamb was right behind her. It followed her to work one day, work one day, work one day. It followed her to work one daaaaaaayyy, and Mary lost her job! And then she went to unemployment...
Eddie: Knock off the singin' and read him his story book. If you can.
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[Bennington Cotwell returns home after hearing that his son has been kidnapped to find his wife waiting for him]
Laraine Cotwell: All I wanted was to have my baby's picture on the paper.
[She shows him the newspaper, which its headlines shows a picture of Baby Bink, but the story is of Bink being kidnapped]
Laraine Cotwell: [sarcastically] I've got my wish.
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[as Baby Bink crawls away from the Building Under Construction, Hard Hat #1 sees him disappear around a corner]
Hard Hat #2: What?
Hard Hat #1: I thought I saw a baby crawl around a corner.
Hard Hat #2: Good night, Donald.
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[the villains have returned to their apartment house after chasing Baby Bink all day long]
Norby: Hey, Eddie, you sure you don't want to go check if they have left the money?
Eddie: Oh, that's a good idea. We get the living hell torn out of us by a Baby! Three fully grown men versus 15 pounds of pink flesh with a mouth! Now, what chance do you think we have than strolling into that alley and coming out with anything less than 140 years in prison? No, thank you! This is a hexed situation, we walk away while we'll still ahead.
Veeko: We took a licking and kept on ticking.
Eddie: We go back to banks. Dealing with grownups, and I want no kiddie stuff.
Norby: We did all right with banks.
Veeko: Or a convenient once in a while, keeps things interesting.
Eddie: Well, you know one thing I learned from this: I ain't never gonna have any kids of my own.
Norby: Ha, Yeah! Seeing as you burnt down the only tree in your forest, I ain't worrying about that.
[Norby and Veeko laugh, and give each other high-fives]
Eddie: Why don't you shut up? I don't ever wanna hear another word about that rotten, snake-bit Baby!
[Baby Bink's giggle is heard from the microphone outside]
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Norby: What's the name of the fairy tale with the egg on the wall?
Veeko: That was Nat King Cole.
Eddie: No, Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.
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FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Turn around and call for back-up. We're going back to the tick-tock, to get the boo-boo!
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Description
Baby Bink is out on the town for the day, visiting wondrous places and seeing fantastic sights. The only problem is, he is traveling alone! Frantically hunted by his mother and turned into a celebrity by the media, Baby Bink stays one step ahead of a trio of bumbling con artists eager to collect the reward money being offered by his wealthy parents.
Amazon.com
Only a mother or a certified baby-phile could love this John Hughes comedy (he wrote and coproduced it). Aside from that endorsement, the diaper starts to stink. Baby Bink is kidnapped by three inept crooks, but the child escapes from their hideaway, leading to a chase through the city. Bink's journey follows the story line of his favorite bedtime book, Baby's Day Out, and he goes to a zoo, a construction site, and a retirement center. Hughes is following his accountant's favorite bedtime tale, "Let's rewrite Home Alone again," but with very little of the humor or impact of that smash. A number of scenes center on the crushing or incineration of Joe Mantegna's groin, not exactly family-fare yuks. There are some moments of levity with the crooks and a gorilla. --Keith Simanton
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