Mary K. Mart: Well, here we are... at another fuckin' Miss Swamp Pussy contest. So! Do we have any lesbians in the audience tonight? No? You've never wanted to just put your face in and see what it tasted like?
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Babs Johnson: You know, controversy does good things, sometimes.
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Babs Johnson: I've never performed an abortion on stage!
Nurse: There's always a first time for everything, Mark!
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Babs Johnson: When people make decisions without even listening to the other person's opinion... well... not to quote Michael Jackson, but... it's just ignorant.
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The Devil: This show is going to be like Babs gone wild! Wait... that's every day.
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